Sunday, May 2, 2021

Lessons Learned - Near Finish of work Meditations.

 Even if I've not published this close to publishing I've collected so much data on how hard it was to produce the book and its challenges that the Detailed Analysis of my work can streamline more work in the future. 

Types of PROBLEM - lessons Learned. How I would sort issues in the next work. 
  1. For Future Material. Many of the SUB systems should be tackled in a future book or material. Its not necessary for the main topic of this book. Mostly because it would add weeks to the Publish time. FAIL FAST, LEARN and be Agile. 
  2. CLARIFICATION. better way of conveying the idea requires so much nuance. 
  3. Distraction. So many sentences that dont' make sense, incomplete sentences, or clearly overloaded Working memory that crashed and I lost my train of thought. 
  4. OPTIONAL. hard to measure if this IMPROVES or WORSENS the system relative to its design goals. When its tied - Less is More. 

Its not UNIQUE but rarely are people like me - of any value to an organization. One of the weirdest traits I've observed is that I like Systematizing it Even if I have no clue to Categorize the errors of my work. The emotional labor to see errors and analyze them is crippling - and most of my hesitation and procrastination is exposing myself to my mistakes. 

I realize LISTENING to my Audio of running Games in 2014 to 2015 (ripped the audio from Hangouts recording of games) to listen to how I sound like and how I would be driving the car White knuckled at the amount of CRINGE I experience listening to how stupid I sounded prepared me for this. 

Ask me to listen to that again and I would say that the amount of emotional labor CAN RUIN A DAY, I can lose a day trying to tell myself its not that bad. 

I'm not good at meditating in being "Present" but I can irrationally "Take on" self harming and uncomfortable psychic damage - I cannot recover faster or better than anyone and actually may be more fragile than everyone. Its just that I can't "Not know" I need to know my flaws to put it in perspective. 

Simple Biz Analysis and benchmarking I did to understand Where my product exists in the Spectrum of the market and where its place. 

It makes me appreciate how hard it is to write. It will never pay for itself, even if my Cost of living Is 1/5-1/10 of the US (about 19k/ USD a year family of 4 with 2 maids) My job as the IT and Plant Director will pay more and is an inexhaustible source of XP to look at life and try to Gamify it in a way People behave more compassionately to each other in the prisoner's dilemma. 

Even if It doesn't sell - only friends and Family Bought (10? ) I guess I will be grateful to appreciate how hard it is and how lucky I can participate when I know so many can't. 

  • My breakeven is Silver (100) of my own money
  • If I calculated based on my hourly rate at work I'd need Gold (500). 
  • I've put about 50 hours into it based on GDOC edit history. 

Well its better than buying STUFF to make me feel better. 

I'm in the third world country the Philippines, experiencing very incompetent and corrupt Gov't and when I reflect on how an idiot like me can make a good will effort to learn anything as compared to the corruption and plundering of scarce gov't funds - I'm reminded at how I have to keep telling people how important SKILLS, integrity, and Proficiency is. I inject it unconsciously in everything - how learning and study matters because I come from a place where it doesn't matter and the loudest, violence, and misinformation are more effective and diverting resources of the public to enrich oneself. 

It shapes how I approach competence, work, games, and people. How I know the world says "your skills and compassion doesn't matter" and to compensate I inject - how it matters in almost everything I do. My analysis, my study, my mistakes, my learning - it matters even if the world will be shaped by people who will pit people against each other to enrich themselves. Even if everyday it is harder to see eye to eye and understand each other - despite rapidly developing mediums of communication and AI able to play to our fears and outrage us. 

It hard to see anything without how everything connects to it in degrees we are better and better able to measure because of technology. 

I believe in NICHE TRPGS makers using Open Source (my next project is to make Creative Commons) to reduce the cost of making products and make highly compatible products - that smaller amounts of investment and risk will allow people to BUILD up complexity and synergy. A part time industry of Games thare more accessible - versatile - and complimentary to our human requirements. Someone will create a Hard Scifi module that will teach key Concepts of Science, Commerce, Trade, Sociology, Hindi, etc... in a GAME that can be run in 1-2 hours stand alone or as part of an adventure. We will spend 5-10usd for a week of fun with our friends and family in material that has so much replay value. There will be someone making a game FOR US - culturally or Culturally accessible. 

There is no one monolithic zero-sum entity that will contrive to control it - because the community will make the IP open. Im imagining at time my grand kids will have Open IP in interactive mediums of games as their primary media - they can Learn in their Pace and their Style and discover their voice. 

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